I have a confession to make: I like change. Actually I need it. If I don't get it, I can feel the walls around me shrinking and confining me, binding my arms and legs so I can't get out no matter how much I scream. It's very similar to claustrophobia. Which I have. (Let me clarify: I like what some would call 'cosmetic' changes. Huge, mega life altering changes? Not so much.)
If you haven't been keeping track, I've changed the layout of my blog like 3 times since starting it in September. I've changed my picture like, 5 times. (although all this may be due to my chronic wishy-washiness)
The feeling comes on about once a year, and usually I would satisfy this need by moving to a new rental house. Of course there is always a reason: no more super sweet discount for working in the rental office, bad location, can't afford rent, not enough space, someone is buying our duplex and kicking us out, and finally, buying a house. (and, by-the-by, all of that happened to us)
Since we bought a house, I can't move anymore.
So I buy new furniture. Redo the bathroom (okay, that was because our pipes burst). Install new storm windows. Buy a new car. Now we are making plans to put up a privacy fence. Then it'll be bedroom furniture. Then, switching Little Monster's room around. Replace the old shed. You get the idea.
Hubsters knows when to duck for cover around Spring because that's when I get the itch. As soon as he comes up for air I snatch him up:
Me: So....here's what I'm thinking....
Hubs: (crouched in the corner rocking back and forth whispering) please don't make me paint the trim, please don't make me paint the trim...
Anyway, this need seeps into my work. I was getting my ms ready to send to my crit group, and last minute I'm frantically making little changes here and there. I couldn't help it! My fingers itched to delete a little here, backspace a little there, add a line here, change some dialogue there. I wonder if it will ever look perfect to me? Will I always need to change it like I do my house? When it's published am I going to go crazy thinking, "Gawd, if I just changed that ONE line!!"? (but honestly it's small changes...I think when it comes down to changing major chunks of my ms, I'll cry and protest for days)
I'm really hoping I can satisfy my little change addiction by just doing things around the house. That's harmless, right?
Ooh that reminds me...hey Hon, I think it's time to redo the kitchen.
Tell me, how are you with change? Do you take in stride, seek it out, or resist it with all your might?