Waiting...everybody does it. Whether it's in line at the checkout counter (why do I always pick the SLOWEST line?), or waiting for that paycheck every other Friday, or maybe just waiting for your child to stop goofing around and put her clothes on because we're late for school.
Some people have a more intense type of wait. The type from the moment you find out you have to wait, all the way up until the moment you hear whatever it is you need to hear. That part is agonizing. I would consider this waiting to see if you made a part in the play you just auditioned for, waiting to hear back after a job interview, waiting to find out about test results, or it could be waiting to hear back from the many agents you just queried your book to.
You know you are not going to find out for three or four days, but your mind tells you that you need to know NOW. You can't concentrate on anything. Your bones are about to shake right out of your skin, and you feel like you may need to run to the nearest trash can, and there is nothing you can do about it. Nothing. Except take deep breaths, and try to busy yourself with something else. By the last day, when you KNOW you are supposed to hear something, you give yourself an ulcer just agonizing over it. It's drawn out until the very last minute, threatening to empty the contents of your stomach more than once. You don't need coffee this day- your adrenaline does the job for you.
So...you find out. YES, finally my tilting world should right itself and everything will be back to normal. WRONG. You get thrown some kind of curve ball and the roller coaster starts up again.
Life seems like one big waiting game. I just need to learn to grab that game and rattle it's pieces. Play it differently, take it by surprise. That's what makes it interesting. The ups and downs keep life in perspective (even if it may feel like an alien inside you is trying to rip your insides out), and they motivate you to keep trying and do whats best for you.
Anyway, I imagine this is what it will be like to query agents. And then when I get an agent, this is what it would be like to have my book pitched to publishers. And then when a publisher picks it up, this is what it will be like while I wait for it to come out in a YEAR or more. And then when it finally comes out, this is what it will be like waiting for those reviews- hoping you get 5 stars instead of none. And then....you do it all over again with your next book. This is the life writers/authors/illustrators choose. Because we love to write. Like all of us passionate writers say, it's not about the money or the fame (if it is we chose the wrong business- Stephanie's and J.K.'s don't happen every day), it's about getting our story out for everyone to hear.
I'm not ready to play that waiting game yet, but I've got plenty of other waiting games to keep me occupied. Now if I could just get that game called Life in order, I'd be set, right?
No seriously, where is my board game Life? I have a sudden urge to play it.