Do you ever have those days where you wake up, and everything in front of you is so overwhelming that you just want to crawl back into the comfort of your own bed? But then reality takes you by your sheets and flips you out into the day, forcing you to face it. Or in my case, Little Monster comes in around 7 and stands there staring at me until I feel her creepy presence and wake with a start. It also doesn't help that I had slept on the couch up until about 6 am because Hubs is sick with a cold, and he managed to consume the entire bed so I couldn't fit on it. Anyway, the power of this all encompassing, overwhelming feeling seems to try to drag me down the rest of the day. My house is a mess and I don't know where to start cleaning it. I am groggy from taking anit-nausea meds the night before and I really do just want to go back to sleep, and Little Monster wants breakfast, the tv turned on, and a playmate. All by 7am.
Then, I sit down at my computer and read the author and agent blogs I keep up with. And I'm so overwhelmed with doubt that I just want to quit writing. Writing is scary- you spend all this time on a novel- your baby- and when you are done, you send it out fresh and new into the world only to hear back that the agents wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole. I haven't had the privilege of going through that just yet. I'm not even finished with my book. But now I wonder if I'm procrastinating so I don't have to revise and make it perfect, and then write that perfect query that will catch the agents eye, and go through rejections only to realize that maybe this novel is not "the one", and then have to start from scratch.
I just don't know if I'm ready for all of that! Maybe that's why I started my blog. To waste more time not writing, and not getting closer to my goal. But you know what? Determination is what sets true writers apart from those with just a dream. I need to turn my doubt into encouragement when I read other authors blogs who've made it, or when I get awesome tips from literary agents. That is what should keep me going, and it should not be bringing me down.
So really what I should be doing, is thanking all those authors that share their awesome stories of getting their first novel published. Their experiences should give me the fuel I need to finish my book, revise like there's no tomorrow, and write the best darn query letter of my life. So thank you. Thank you. I really love you. Serioulsy. I do. (authors are totally like celebrities for me) Okay, sounding stalkerish...really, I'm not. Okay, just a little..but I guess it is kinda stalkerish to anticipate with a drooling mouth what my favorite author or agent will write today on their blog.
Okay so, seriously though. Pep talk- for all you aspiring authors out there, just keep going. Keep reading up on the business, doing your research, finishing that book and revising like crazy. So many authors have gone through what I am, and so many of them finally get that book published. It's a crazy road, and we do it because we love it. We want people to read our stories, and want our characters come to life. Just try a little harder each day (and I am seriously trying hard to take my own advice, here) not to be too overwhelmed, and turn that doubt into encouragement.
Okay, now on to stopping the procrastination and doing something productive today. Um...maybe I'll start tomorrow...I need a nap.